Slow it down to get Sexually Aroused!
Say it with me: Slow. It. Down.
With so much porn showing hard and fast sex, it’s no wonder that some of us end up disappointed after copying this adrenaline-fueled way of banging. But the lady in the porn video seems to be having so many orgasms! Why don’t I feel that horny?
Babe, in pornography, orgasms can, and more often than not are, faked! And hard and fast sex doesn’t do it for all of us.
According to research, it takes a straight woman having sex with a man 13.46 minutes to reach climax. That’s no fast sex. Take your time, engage in foreplay, play with the unique sensations of sex toys, be in the present.
The trick to your pleasure might just be to slow it down, and here’s why and how to get Sexually Aroused:
The Problem with 0-100 Sex
There is such a thing as foreplay, you know. And it exists to do one thing: turn you on!
The problem with going from 0-100 in sex is that it gives you no time to turn your sex switch on. You might get turned on after the penis has entered your vagina, but wouldn’t it be more fun if you were already turned on? Hell yes! So next time your bae tries to just stick it in you (IYKYK), stop him and tell him to do the non-penetrative things that turn you on.
This could mean soft caresses all over your body, kissing, nipple play, oral sex, or even just a simple makeout session. Once you engage in a little foreplay before sex, you are more likely to feel your arousal build. You want to engage in enough foreplay to make you want to scream at him to put his penis inside you. This is the ideal amount of foreplay. Mind you, can you ever have enough foreplay? I don’t think so.
A Note to Men: What Can You Do in Foreplay to get Sexually Aroused?
What turns most straight women on is a man who focuses on her pleasure. There is nothing sexier than a dude who just gets on with the job at hand without us having to ask and spends a lot of their time on it. When a guy does this, it tells us that you understand the female body, that it takes us time to build arousal.
It also shows that you care about our pleasure as much as your own. So pleasure your girl and watch her moan. Then you know you’re doing a good job. And sex with an already-aroused woman is always going to be more electric than if you just stick it in her.
Slow Ways to Build Arousal to get Sexually Aroused
-Sext with each other: Building arousal can start outside of the bedroom. Before you intend on meeting up, text each other some dirty messages to set the tone for your hookup. Tell them what you’re going to do to them and what you want them to do to you. Nothing builds arousal more than a sexy text while you’re at work.
– Watch porn together: Choose an ethical porn video you both like and sit on the couch or bed watching it. You may naturally start caressing each other sensually as you watch, which is an added bonus.
– A naked massage: Giving each other a sensual massage is a great way to build arousal, especially if you’re having sex with a woman. Relaxation and arousal go hand in hand, so if your special lady is relaxed, she is more likely to become aroused. After a while of ‘vanilla’ massage, you can start massaging the more intimate parts of her body, such as her butt, her boobs, and her vulva. Add intimate kisses all over her body, and she’ll be wet before you know it.
– Going out on a date: One way to make someone feel special is to take them out on a date. Spend some time exclusively with each other and have some fun. This is especially important if you have kids and hardly ever get alone time. Those date nights can be your precious time alone together to replenish your arousal for each other. If you want to spice things up, get your SO to wear a remote-controlled vibrator to really get them in the mood.
– Eat light and leave some time after dinner before having sex to get Sexually Aroused: One main reason that women don’t feel aroused at night is that we bloat really easily depending on what we eat. So sex is the last thing on our minds. If you plan on a sex evening, have dinner early and eat something light. Leave some time between eating and having sex because you don’t want your sexy evening to turn into a bout of heartburn or indigestion.
– Masturbate a lot: Sometimes, a woman can’t get aroused because she hasn’t spent enough time pleasuring herself on her own. Before you can get a man to understand what makes you tick, you have to understand yourself. So if you don’t masturbate a lot, give it a try on the regular. If your fingers don’t work, give a vibrator a try. And don’t always stick to the same technique. Try stimulating your clitoris with different motions, use your non-dominant hand, try different positions, etc. You’ll be surprised by the different ways you can make yourself come. Then once you know the way that makes you come the best, you can instruct your partner how best to please you. It’s a fail-safe method.
– Read an erotic novel: Women get more turned on from using their imagination, so if porn doesn’t do it for you, there’s a good chance that an erotic novel will. And there are plenty of erotic novels and short stories on the Kindle store to keep you going for days. And an unexpected plus is that a lot of the erotic content you see on Kindle is self-published by individuals. So you’ll be helping out a hidden-gem writer by downloading their content. I will admit that self-published content is hit and miss, but I can confirm that there are some better self-published erotic authors out there than authors who are traditionally published.
– Spend time just fantasizing: We don’t do this often enough. Just take a few minutes out of your day and think about sex. Think about what you really want to try and with whom. And you’ll be surprised how your genitals react. They say that men think about sex at least ten times a day… So why can’t women?
The Climax to get Sexually Aroused…
In women, arousal can take a hot minute. Unlike men, we are more sensual creatures that need some tender loving care to get wet. So talk to your partner about slowing things down and taking some time just to pleasure you before engaging in sex.
Life is too short for unsatisfying sex, and men love a direct woman who can own her own pleasure. So tell him!
If you can’t get aroused from the fast and hard approach, you’re probably on the same page as a lot of women – the majority even! So engage in some slow foreplay and see what happens. You might just surprise yourself.